Practical Conversations About Single Parenting, Independent Women, and the Evolving Roles of Men

Last week, I met with a Hollywood based Artist Manager. For nearly three hours, we talked about masculine and feminine roles in today’s society and what it’s like to navigate the ever-evolving roles as single parents.

He openly shared with me the way his role and function changed when he became a dad. He said, “When you become a dad, it’s as if some part of your heart gets unlocked, and you begin to yearn for emotions you’ve never had before.”

He continued by sharing that once he became a father, vulnerability and talking about emotions became a new reality—perhaps even a reality he wasn’t prepared for. Still, it’s a reality he embraces fully and with his whole heart.

However, when navigating this new reality, with emotions on board and no longer suppressed, he’s often stumped when it comes to finding other men not only facing this same frontier, but also willing to have an open conversation about what’s taking place.

He noted the world of “Mommy and Me” is well established, but when it comes to dads and their children, the support network is lacking. This is in part, because many men don’t often have vulnerable conversations. He noted, “Men get ‘emotional’ with other men when it comes to sports; but, in other areas, it doesn’t come so naturally.”

Several years ago, stay at home fathers started the conversation about fatherhood on the home front. While the conversation about fatherhood has evolved significantly, there’s still a lack of places for men to convene and have genuine conversations with like-minded dads facing and interpreting the similar and constant changing terrain of fatherhood.

Once you add in the fact that this man is a single father, an additional layer is revealed.

He observed the current feminine movement as opening a door for women and men. However, “No one is giving men the platform to speak up about this evolving reality.

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As the Partnership Director for The Good Men Project, I’ve been fortunate enough to work with this participatory media company that’s having “The Conversation No One Else is Having.”

The conversation that takes place at The Good Men Project is one that talks openly about the changing roles of men in the 21^st Century. We connect dads with one another through the written word, spoken word, social interest groups, Facebook communities, and opportunities to lead social change.

Just as the roles of men are evolving, the roles of are women are changing too. We can feel the movement taking place and it’s demonstrated clearly (and often in a way that’s hard to navigate) on the dating scene. When talking about the ways women are now empowered and independent, he noted the challenges he’s faced when meeting “strong” women.

Knowing I am one of these women, I took the comment in. Without defense, but returning with passion, I replied, “Do you know the real challenge we face as women? Particularly as a single mother?”

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He nodded indicating a lack of understanding.

I continued, “It’s because for many of us, we’ve had to step up and do everything on our own. As a single mother for the past 20 years, in many ways I’d had no choice but to operate in masculine energy. At a very basic level, when you look at the way we’re designed, men are designed to give and women are designed to receive. However, women are placed in roles where they must give (often to the point of martyrdom which isn’t healthy), but sometimes necessary. We must work, pay the bills, take care of our children, and generally keep all of the balls in the air. The idea of receiving is so foreign to us, because we’ve been so used to doing everything on our own. Allowing a man to give (even in simple ways like opening the door for us) isn’t something that comes easy.”

That doesn’t mean offers for men to lead are unwelcome. It simply means we’re attempting to adjust to the new reality of our changing roles in the same way men are.

He was quite surprised and then remarked, “Ok. That makes sense. Having not had this conversation with you, I’m not sure I could have appreciated the space you (women) are coming from.”

That’s the bottom line for The Good Men Project. We provide a platform for these open, vulnerable conversations to take place.

That’s the way change happens—through conversations that lead to insight and change our worldview.

Also, The Good Men Project is a place for all genders to come together to initiate and sustain the changes needed to advance agendas for the entire population. See, there’s a lot of things women can do alone and vice versa. However, it’s when we come together for a common cause that the magic happens. He reiterated, “Women can talk until they are blue in the face, but if men don’t buy into the ‘why’ and help do their part to initiate change, their efforts to sustain real change will fail.”

That’s precisely why these conversations are so important and why The Good Men Project offers a forum for men and women to be enlightened on the different perspectives offered from the same and opposite sex.

Evan recalled this TED Talk from Jason Baldoni as a sort of “Call to Arms” for men. He said coming to The Good Men Project offers him something he’s been looking for since becoming a father ten years ago.

He continued, “It’s priceless to be able to read content about navigating today’s world as a man and a single father.”

While priceless, reading content is a solitary experience—and yet nothing we do takes place in a vacuum. Every action has a corresponding reaction. In order to get the best possible reaction, The Good Men Project believes it’s imperative to have tough, but necessary conversations to create a common understanding. From this place of understanding, we can bring others to the conversation and ultimately create social change.

We offer an opportunity to join the conversation in a way that’s real, participatory, and offers more than a solitary experience. Healing and change takes place in community. We have more than a million members in our community, and we’re actively addressing conversations around sexism, racism, conscious intersectionality, men’s mental health, the disposability of men and traumatic brain injuries and sports, and political activism.

As a Premium Member of The Good Men Project, you also have access to training classes to help you become better at sharing your craft with the world (whether that craft is writing, art, spoken word, or activism).

In addition, we’re rolling out exclusive options for business owners and on brand sponsored columnists to share their message and products through writing and video options at an affordable monthly rate. Contact our Partnership Director for details on this program.

It’s important to continue the Conversation No One Else is Having (both within our community and outside of it) to present new perspectives and address the issues facing Today’s 21^st Century Man. I’m grateful to have such enlightened men in my network, and I invite you to join us.